Every little girl dreams of her wedding day.
I did. I’ll bet you did, too. What did that look like for you? Small, simple, yet romantic? Or blow out all the stops and over the top? Maybe somewhere in between?
I loved to draw when I was little, and so I would draw pictures of my special day. I knew what my dress would look like. I drew flowers and cakes and doves. Oh yes. What could be more romantic than that? There would be candles and music….
Little girls would gather up my super long train, and carry it down the aisle behind me. My best friends would be standing at the alter with big smiles and green eyes of envy. The church would be full of friends and well-wishers. Anyone peering into my mind’s eye would see my perfect wedding and long for such a day for themselves.
The only hitch was that I honestly never believed that day would happen for me. I was smart enough to know that for my wedding daydreams to become reality, someone had to love me enough to ask me to marry him. I just didn’t see that happening. Ever.
I could see well enough the reflection in my mirror. Staring back at me was a shy, skinny girl with limpish brown hair and crooked teeth. I knew no one would ever give me a second look, much less love me enough to spend the rest of their lives waking up to that.
But God took pity on this little girl, knew the plans He had for her, and those plans included a mate. Long before I knew him, God was working. I just wish He had let me know. It was years before I thought there might be a glimmer of hope for me.
I remember my finance’s younger sister was just in middle school when he and I were planning our wedding. It had been years since I had seen any of my drawings, but she presented me with one she had drawn of her brother and me and what she thought our wedding would look like. It reminded me of the ones I had drawn years before, and the sight of hers plucked at my heart strings. I still have it.
That particular drawing meant someone did love me enough to want to wake up to the sight of me every morning! Miracles did happen!
I was still skinny- strangely enough; when my future husband first met me his first impression was-
“She’s too skinny”
See? I told you. I did have better hair then (I had discovered hair products!), and my teeth had been straightened through the miracle of braces, but I still couldn’t believe someone loved me this much. He had pursued me (Although I hadn’t made the chase too hard on him.) relentlessly.
That was twenty years ago, and he still pursues me.
It still blows my mind.
Likewise, sometimes I think we doubt that God would ever really pursue a relationship with us. I mean why would He? Of course the idea of such a relationship fills our hearts and minds with longing, but we know ourselves. We see who we really are, and know that we are not worth the trouble.
Only that’s not the truth. The truth is that God desires a relationship with us above everything else. He gave up that which meant the most to him to have that relationship the day Jesus died. He’s been pursuing us ever since. We are constantly on His mind. Do you believe that? Or do you look at yourself and have doubt?
The Bible says that Jesus stands at the door and knocks. He’s not waiting patiently on a bench, hoping we’ll open the door sometime. Nope. He’s at the door. Knocking. He really wants to come in. And then once He’s in its not done. He desires for that relationship to continue growing ever deeper and more intimate. Doesn’t that bring a smile to your face? It should. That the Creator of the Universe desires to know you so much that He never gives up the pursuit?
Makes me smile just thinking about it.