This morning, I feel like a kid waiting on a new roller coaster ride. Standing in line, nervous, afraid, excited. I’m a bit fidgety and impatient. I am eager to get on and terrified to see it pulling into the station at the same time. I think I may need medication.
I guess you might be wondering the source of these feelings I am having. Perhaps you’ve had these same labile feelings over something in your own life. For me, these feelings come as a result of something my husband is doing today. He is not about to get on a new roller coaster, exactly. No, he’s starting a new job. To clarify, he’s starting a new church job.
My husband is a minister. He has spent nineteen of the last twenty years of our lives together in full time church work.
He is passionate about the local church. He believes it is the hope of the world to hear the news of Christ. We both do.
It’s been great. Mostly. Like a roller coaster ride. Sometimes it’s all out exciting with unpredictable twists and turns. Then on occasion it feels like the bottom drops out from under you, and down you go only to swept up again on another exciting turn. Lots of ups and downs on the ministry roller coaster.
We stepped off that roller coaster a year ago. One of these days I will share that experience here. Or maybe I’ll write a book. Truth really is stranger than fiction, and it would make a great story… Now. A year ago it was a nightmare. A year ago it felt as though we were fleeing to save our family. We were, really. On the few occasions that I have shared our experience, eyes bug out and mouths drop open in disbelief.
So now, a year later, there’s a bit of a “here we go again” feeling. I have to remind myself that we are not where we were. Fortunately, we’ve had a while to sit back and observe this new church. I’ve actually done more than that. I’ve peeked behind doors, and left no stone I saw unturned. So far, so good. While there’s no perfect church, I think we are going to be okay here. I’ve not been asked to drink anything resembling purple Kool-Aid.
I’d like to be able to see a little farther down the road than I can, except that’s just not how God works. He only allows us to see what we need to see to take that next step. Likely, much more than that and we’d wig out. So He leads us, step by step, into His plan, revealing just what we need to see so that we balance our faith to follow Him with our initiative to do so. At any moment I can be like the kid in line at the theme park. I can walk right up to the ride, and cross my arms and say,
”Uh uh. I ain’t getting on.”
That’s where I am this morning. I’ve bought my ticket. I’ve waited in line. Now the coaster is sitting in the station ready for me to climb on. Maybe that’s where you are in your life, too. You are following God in faith and while you feel excitement, you can’t shake the nervousness and fear you feel also.
Well sisters, we have a choice to make now, don’t we? We can stand in the station and watch that train pull away without us, or we can climb on, strap ourselves in, and enjoy the ride.