I realize that I have written recently about change, but as this blog is generally concerning things God is working on in me, it appears He is not done with this lesson on change.
I believe that there are two kinds of change. There is the change that takes place within us and then there is the change that takes place to us or around us. For the most part, assuming the change is positive, the changes that take place within us usually don’t disturb us very much. Those changes within us grow us in maturity. It’s those changes that come to us from the outside that leave us fretting.
On closer inspection, though, it’s often those changes outside of us, even outside of our control, that prompt the changes that come within us. So I think it is safe to say, that these changes we are faced with, come in part, to grow us. Some might say they are two sides of the same coin… or at least they are first cousins.
I have a big change on the horizon. For the last sixteen years I have been blessed to work outside of our home only two or three days a week. Part-time nurse, full-time mom. (There are no part time moms. No good ones, anyway.) As our four children have grown, and the economy has taken such a downturn, the pull on our finances necessitates a change. So, for the first time in nearly two decades, I will be a full-time worker. I’d like to say I am throwing up confetti, but in all honesty, I’m just trying not to throw up.
In addition to the financial benefit that will come immediately, this “opportunity” will eventually also allow my children to attend college with a substantial discount on tuition. With four kids to push through college, that is no small thing. So there are some definite pluses in my going to work full-time. I try to focus on those. But then I am pulled to all those things that “might” happen in my absence from the home.
Among other things, I do still have four kids… and a husband… and a house to take care of. I have devoted a great deal of my life to their benefit. And I’m not done yet. The kids are growing up, for sure, but I’ve said before that just because your teenage boy’s voice drops an octave doesn’t mean your job as a parent is done. Teenagers make choices that can impact the rest of their lives. This is no time for me to be absent or distracted. My daughter is traveling headlong into womanhood. She doesn’t need to navigate that road alone. And the baby? Well. He’s still the baby, and babies need their moms.
Having a ministry spouse is a full time job in itself. They need tons of support and encouragement. So far, I’ve been able to provide both.
But change is coming, and it’s coming soon. I love my job. I really do. I am thankful, first that I have a job in this economy, and also that I have a job that I enjoy. I have wonderful co-workers, and I work in a stimulating environment.
Still, I have reservations. Let’s call them concerns. Not fear. I refuse to call them fear. We are not supposed to be afraid, after all, but I am concerned. I did pray that the Lord would shut this door of opportunity if it would not be beneficial to my family. It did shut several times, but now it is swinging open wide. So in my attempt to learn to walk by faith and not by sight and I am walking through this door. So often I live by sight. I look to and depend on what I can see to guide me. Yet the Bible tells us that things are often not the way they appear, and therefore we must walk by what we know by faith to be true and not by what we see. (2 Corinthians 5:7)
But here is the real lesson for all of us who are learning to walk by faith and to grow in the changes that are coming. In 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, Paul tells us this:
And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
So let us accept His grace and know that it is sufficient. Let us boast in our inabilities to keep up with all we have to do, if for no other reason than to elevate Christ’s strength in us. Then His strength becomes our own, and we can do many things. Actually we can do, endure, suffer, and master all things. How? Because of Christ in us.
Yes. Change from the outside, often brings change within. Pretty neat.