Once again this winter I get to lead a wonderful group of women at my church. We are all moms of teens and preteens who are just trying to get the most out of these crazy years without going crazy ourselves. Last fall we went through a great parenting book called, “Grace Based Parenting” by Tim Kimmel. I highly recommend it.
This semester, we decided to go a different way. Women are like that. This time we aren’t focusing on our kids. We are focusing on our God. This time the book we are studying (Satisfy My Thirsty Soul by Linda Dillow) is leading us into a more intimate and personal relationship with our God. Really intimate.
The Bible tells us to Be still and know that he is God. (PS 46:10) The “know” in that passage is the same word used when the Bible talks about the way that Adam knew Eve. It implies the most intimate position possible for a human relationship. Please don’t make me spell it out. I think you get it. The point is… God wants to know us spiritually with the same kind of intimacy that a man and woman in marriage know each other physically.
For some of us, that’s quite up close and personal. For some of us that’s just a bit closer than we might be comfortable with, but just imagine it. The Creator of the Universe longs to be in your face; connected to you Spirit to spirit.
Alrighty then. As I read through this book, I am getting a bit excited at the whole idea. I want to experience God like never before. I want to have real communion with my Maker and Perfector. I want to KNOW Him.
I am learning that to do this comes about through personal worship time. We are told in scripture that God inhabits the praises of His people. So if you are looking for God, can’t seem to find Him, then worship Him. And…. There He is.
Finding time for a personal time of worship is a bit of a challenge. I don’t have free time. Hardly ever. Pretty much every moment of every day, someone has laid claim to. But… I have decided to pencil God in for twenty minutes on Tuesdays. I tried to do last Tuesday afternoon, but I forgot. I tend to forget appointments. I have three calendars, and I still miss appointments. My daughter’s Orthodontist was always surprised to actually see us on her scheduled appointment day.
You’d think I could manage to remember an appointment with the Almighty. But no. Four-thirty came and went without a thought of my plan. I learned something about God. He doesn’t mind the reschedule. Six-thirty worked fine for Him, too.
I sneaked through the house to make sure all my peeps were occupied, and then I stole away to my bedroom, and closed and locked the door. I turned on my noisemaker to block the clamor in my house. (With a husband and four kids, there’s always clamor.)
I might have forgotten my earlier appointment, but I hadn’t forgotten to prepare ahead for it. I had pulled up a couple of great worship songs on my phone, and had typed in some great Psalms to read aloud.
I knelt down on the floor at the foot of my bed, and turned on my music. I just sat there as I listened to the song play.
“I will set my eyes on You, and no one else.
I long for You; pull me closer. I collapse within your truth.
I’m falling fast. You guard my life, I surrender.
Jesus, You’re my everything. You’re my everything.
Jesus You’re my everything, You’re my everything.
How I long to see your face. To know your voice.
To look at you; in your wonder. I am nothing without you.
Alone in doubt. But when I cry, you will answer
Jesus, you’re my everything, You’re my everything.”
My busy world began to fade away. Peace began to come over me as I meditated on the words of this wonderful song. Thank you John Larson and Highlands Worship for it.
And then something happened. As I knelt there seeking God’s presence…
My feet fell asleep. Great. I needed to stretch out my legs, but found my knees had grown stiff. Then the pins and needles started prickling my feet, and I had to find a better position. This kneeling thing isn’t for sissies… or middle-aged women either. I’m no sissy.
This personal worship time is going to be a learned process. I may be able to clear my calendar, but clearing my mind to focus on Him is going to take practice. I do so want to see God’s face, connect my spirit with His, and experience the joy abundant in His hand. I want to climb right up in His lap, and soak in His love for me. I want to hear His voice and feel Him close. Everything worthwhile takes effort. I am excited to see where this goes. I look forward to my weekly appointments of personal worship and connection with God. I’ll keep you posted. This is going to be great!