Its not yet the New Year, but I am already considering my New Year’s resolutions. I have in mind the usual ones that involve me eating better, being more active, watching less TV and reading my Bible more. But this year I have a couple of new ones. This year I am going to make some changes to my mindset and how I think. In the words of Apple, I am going to “think different”. My grammar meter goes off when I type that, though. So instead, I am going to think differently. I have some ideas about my life and how I live it, and I think it’s time to work on some things.
I am going to look at opportunity differently.
This is going to strike some of you as nuts. Generally, when my husband talks about planning a trip for the two of us, or for the whole family, l don’t typically jump in with both feet. my usual response is to dip my toe in and jerk it back as if the water is freezing. Initially, and even beyond initially, I begin pouring through all the reasons we shouldn’t go, or why going would prove to be difficult. Rather than jumping in feet first and going all in, I begin to stress. I can usually feel my chest tighten. It’s lunacy. I am fully aware.
I might not be able to take off from work. The kids have school. It’s going to cost too much money. Who’s going to feed the cats? If the kids aren’t going, I begin to worry about their well being while we would be gone. And the list goes on and on. But I am going to try to stop all that.
I am going to try to stop that because I should be thrilled to have a husband who wants to go places with me… and who still wants to go places alone with me sometimes. I am going to stop that because work is work, and life is life and in the words of Ferris Bueller, life moves pretty fast and if you aren’t paying attention, you could miss it.
I don’t want to miss it. I don’t want to put off for tomorrow when we aren’t promised tomorrow anyway. And my kids are growing up fast. Soon, they will be off on their own, and whether they go with us on trips and we grab a few more family memories with them, or we leave them at home and they learn how to get by on their own a bit more, it will all be good.
So when adventure comes knocking, I am going to say yes. Someone else may say no for me, but I am going to say yes. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, someone said.
I am going to pursue blessing.
I am throwing down the gauntlet before God. I want to see Him doing some really incredible things in my life and in the lives of those whom I love. I mean really big, GOD sized things. I want doors to open, even if we have to kick them down. Sometimes, I think we have to kick open some doors, sometimes we have to show God how much we want something. When I know my kids want something badly enough, I am more inclined to lend them a hand at pushing open a door. I think God can be like that, too.
I am forty-six years old, and it might be reasonable to think that God has pretty much done all the God sized things in my life he has planned on doing. I think the enemy of my soul would like for me to think that way, and sometimes I do think that way. But not this year. This year I am going to think differently.
Two years ago I started writing a book. It’s a great book. Its an incredible story of adventure and spiritual abuse and rescue. Its a story of how God can take any situation, and turn it around, it might even be how God can allow some really bad things to come our way in order to bring about some really incredible things later. I think some people need to know that. So I am going to finish my book and send it out to publishers. Lots of them. This is the year. There…. gauntlet thrown… door being pushed.
But I want things, big things to happen for those I love, too. I want doors to open or be pushed open for Matthew, for my four kids, too. Landon will be entering his senior year of college, and it will be time for him to look for a real job. I want his talent to grow this year in unbelievable ways, and I want it to be noticed. Ryan is starting into college full time this year, and I want God to lead him in huge ways. Laura will be entering her senior year at art school and I want the Lord to grow her talent beyond belief and for college and career opportunities to abound. Evan will go on his first missions trip this summer, I want the Lord to light a fire in him like never before for the least and the lost, the lonely and the hurting.
I believe we can live life going through the motions, getting through the day, or we can LIVE life expecting God to do great things in and through us if we seek it, hunger for it, and plead for it. But sometimes we have to change our mindset. We have to be willing to say yes when opportunity comes. We have to be ready to jump in with both feet and push away doubts and excuses. We have to think differently.