I have had my heart broken a time or two. I have also broken a heart or two. It is tough stuff, these matters of the heart. We are created to live in relationships. It’s the very reason we were made in the first place. We were formed to be in relationship with God. So for those of you still searching for why you were made… there you go. We are hardwired for relationships; first to be in relationship with the Father and then to be in relationship with one another.
But relationships are fragile.
When I was much younger, I made my share of mistakes with regard to relationships. I gave my heart away far too easily. I was less than careful with the hearts of others, as well, sometimes. I can remember in second grade, ripping out a little boy’s heart, throwing it on the ground and stomping on it. Worse still, I refused to return the ring he had given me- that was actually his mother’s -because I had given it to my friend, Wendy. I still feel kinda bad about that. I was paid back in full when in sixth grade the boy who liked me decided he no longer liked me because I got a perm. It was a bad perm, but I was still me…
The older we get, the more complicated these things get. The more invested in a relationship we are, the harder it is if we lose that relationship. The grief we feel can almost feel as if a person has died. Sometimes we think death might be easier to take. I said this was tough stuff.
Here’s a thing about grief…
We can often get stuck in our grief. I mean we feel like we deserve to wallow a bit; a fair amount of time anyway. But what is that amount? When can we be done? It does take time to pick ourselves up off the ground, dust ourselves off and regroup. But how much time does that take? The truth is you get to decide that. A day? A week? Six months? Years? It’s literally up to you.
Or it can be if you decide it is. You can decide that you are stepping into a new day. You can decide you are just giving it all, lock, stock and barrel, to the Holy Spirit. Let him have it and give him free reign in your heart to come in and patch up what is broken. He can. He can come in and fix it all, and it will be like it was never broken and he can do it faster than you can. You walk away with experience and wisdom you didn’t have before, but without the pain.
There is a saying that goes, “Time heals all wounds.” That, is a load from the enemy. Now space and distance from an initial heartbreak can serve to give us a different perspective, but time has absolutely no healing power whatsoever. If you are waiting on time to heal your wounds, you will be waiting a long… time. And if you are not careful, you can get comfortable there in your grief and heartbreak. You can decide that sitting around in your dirty bathrobe and eating a steady diet of Fritos and Ben and Jerry’s is not such a bad life after all.
Just ask Terah from Genesis 11. Terah was headed to Canaan but he never made it. Terah’s son had died and it had broken his heart. While traveling to Canaan, he passed through a town named the same name as his dead son, Heran. Terah became stuck there. Stuck in his grief and he never made it to Canaan. He actually died in Heran, never ever seeing the Promised Land.
Terah needed to keep walking. He needed to push through and keep walking to the other side. He needed to say no to wallowing and yes to the path God had marked out for him. He should have turned his pain over to the Father. He needed to allow the Holy Spirit in to heal those broken places and make his heart new again.
You might not exactly be sitting in your ice cream stained bathrobe with Fritos breath, but maybe it’s time to hand your heartbreak over to the Father. Stop putting your faith in time. Time never healed anyone, but God, now he’s in the business of heart healing. Keep walking. It’s a new day. And all that time wasted in that relationship? For a child of God, there is no such thing as time wasted. God uses all things for our good, even the tough stuff.