I’ve been exploring my relationship with God recently. His idea, not mine. Some challenges have come along in the lives of some people I hold dear, and to be quite honest, my resolve for these situations has faltered a bit. It happens. At least it happens to me.

I want to be the person with unwavering faith. I want to stand firmly on whom I know God to be and of what I believe he is capable. I say that I believe there is absolutely nothing he is not able to accomplish if he so chooses. It’s the, if He so chooses, part that gives me pause.

I believe God can heal. I’ll go it a step further and say that I know he does heal. I know it, because I have seen it. I have not only seen it… I was the one who asked for it. I have also asked for healing that did not happen. That can be hard for a person to reconcile sometimes… why God sometimes grants healing in this life, and why he sometimes grants it in the next.

Ephesians, Chapter Six, tells us that we need to put on the full armor of God. It’s like a super suit. More like Captain America and less like Hong Kong Phooey. We cover our heads with the helmet of salvation. We put on the breastplate of righteousness. We strap on the belt of truth which is the Word of God, and on our feet we put the readiness that comes with the gospel of peace. And after we have done all of that… we stand our ground.

Picture a soldier in full battle gear. He’s done all the preparation he can to face the battle ahead. What does he do when the battle comes? He stands firm in the face of it. Pretty impressive if you ask me.

I want to stand firm, too. I want to be that front line warrior. Having done all I can do… I want to stand. I don’t want to go limp and wind up in a puddle of tears from one of those ugly cries… wallowing in my doubt and wimpy faith.

I took these concerns to a mentor of mine. A woman I consider to be a front line warrior in full battle gear. If you don’t have one of these, get one… or two. I told her I was afraid to ask for another miracle without first fully believing that God would grant it. I want to be able to ask with the faith that moves mountains… because this is a big mountain I need to move.

She told me she didn’t think it worked like that.

She’s right. She almost always is. We are invited to approach the throne of grace in full confidence of the One seated there. My friend encouraged me to make my pleas to the Father with HOPE and ASSURANCE. (She capitalized both words.) We don’t trust in our ability to ask or believe, but in His ability to accomplish… more than we can ask or imagine. (Ephesians 3:20)

She told me to pray with un-clenched fists. To me, that means we open our hands and our hearts to God’s good pleasure, and fully trust Him with the outcome of our prayers. She told me in so many words that that’s the way she and God relate to one another. I like her posture in that relationship.

My faith is stretching a bit right now and frankly, it’s a little scary. I’m being called to trust more when I thought I trusted the right amount already. In my head, I know that God is worthy of this new level of trust. I just need someone to convince my heart. Thank goodness for His mercy and grace over me… for his patience and unrelenting love.

I’m pulling on my super suit, and I am going to stand. God, help me to stand.