I’m sorry ladies. If you want to have dinner with the Vice President, you’ll have to accept his wife coming along. Can you believe that? Who does he think he is, after all? Step into the 21st century, man!
Many in the liberal media couldn’t wait to beat up on our Vice President for this seemingly shortsighted, non-progressive “rule”. Lately, I’m feeling so much like an entitled teenager, rolling my eyes at every stab people make at what seems like such antiquated thinking. Are these people really serious? This is not news, people, but it is good practice.
If you aren’t aware that you leave your wedding with a target on your back, then you need to wise up. Marriage is God’s thing. Our enemy doesn’t like God’s things and immediately will set out to destroy those things. If you step into your happily ever after without your guard up, every day, all the time, no second to waste… then you should expect the trouble that’s coming.
“Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8
Marriages can flourish… within proper boundaries. Marriages can last a lifetime… if you stand your guard over them. You can have your happily ever after… but only after you do your due diligence.
Mike Pence shared one of his rules for marriage… I’ll share some of mine.
1.) We, too, do not have dinner with a member of the opposite sex alone. Or lunch, or breakfast, or coffee… I mean unless it’s each other… then alone is awesome.
2.) We do not get into a vehicle alone with a member of the opposite sex… to go across town or across the street.
3.) We do not meet for business alone in a room with the door shut with a member of the opposite sex. As a matter of fact, Matthew has had a window cut in his office door before, just for people to be able to see in at all times.
4.) We do not send private messages on social media to members of the opposite sex. I severely limit the members of the opposite sex that I friend on Facebook. You pretty much have to be related to me for me to accept your request if you are a man.
5.) We know where the other one is pretty much all the time. We share plans for the day. We have an app on our phones that shows us where everyone in our family is at any given time. (Find My Friends) We don’t make an obsessive habit of looking at it, but it’s there if we need it.
6.) I can look at his email and he can look at mine. I can open his snail mail, and he can open mine.
7.) I know all of his passwords, and he knows mine.
8.) I can pick up his phone and read anything on it I want, look at his photos, too. Same for him.
9.) I can look in his wallet, and he can look in my purse. God, help him if he does, but he can.
10.) We do not have close friendships with the opposite sex… apart from our spouse being close friends, too, with that person.
I realize that some may find these things very restricting. I guess they are. But within these guardrails there is complete freedom. There is complete trust. There are no secret places or shady practices. There is no space where he cannot look into my life, and none closed off to me. We know the target on our backs and we are ever vigilant to ward off any attacks. There is no room to be lax or lazy. Flattery turns into compromise… lack of diligence into accusation. Loss of trust is the beginning of the end.
I happen to be very proud of our Vice President and his very public dinner rule. He has a lifelong marriage to show for the consistency and concern that he demonstrates. Take a look at the marriages of those who are throwing stones… ten to one they can’t hold a candle.
Cracked Pot Pieces 
Hmmm. I would love to know how they work that out practically from a business point of view, especially in his current role. It certainly takes great courage to stand up to our culture’s morals in this way. In thinking about times when I have ridden with my male bosses to lunch or to a client’s office alone, I wonder how I might have handled it differently. I’m taking a Christian Ethics class and I think I’ll use this in some way. Thanks for your list.
Andrea, thanks for reading! It does take a bit of strategy to pull it off sometimes. And if there are times when there is just no alternative, we make the other aware of what’s going on, but we find that with just a little bit of planning… it’s almost always doable. We found early on… especially with Matthew in ministry, that we just had to take these precautions. The target is bigger.
Can someone who is as immersed in God as you are be willing to love and accept someone who has yet to believe in anything? Could two religious opposites have a fine marriage as you do?
Emmelia,
First, thank you so much for reading the blog. I appreciate it so much. In answer to your question, as a follower of Christ, I am called to love all people as Christ loved all people. When it comes to marriage, (meaning bringing the “all people” down to “one person”) the Bible is clear on a few things. The Bible advises against a believer being “unequally yolked” to an unbeliever. This refers to the way oxen were connected together to plow a field. Unequal oxen made for a messy field. To be spiritually mismatched in marriage is difficult for similar reasons. Now, the Bible also teaches that should two unbelievers marry, and one becomes a believer, they should remain married to the unbeliever in hopes of leading the unbelieving spouse to faith in Christ. There is evidence in the Bible of entire households coming to faith in Jesus because one member believed. You see, marriage is both a physical and a spiritual relationship- because it was created by God who is Himself, spiritual. When a believer is tied spiritually in marriage to an unbeliever, it is a discomforting position for the unbeliever. (Remember the mismatched oxen?) Many times that discomfort leads to strife in the marriage, but hopefully, in time, that discomfort will lead them to seek the only One who could ever provide comfort.
I say ALL of that to say this… I do not believe that two religious opposites can have a marriage the same way that two believers in Christ can have a marriage together. They can have a partnership, a friendship, but the relationship is intended to be a three part harmony. Two parts human, one part God. Without God at the center of the marriage, it is a pale comparison to what it could be with Him. It is a beautiful design not of my making, but one that I am blessed to enjoy and that I work hard to maintain.
I hope this provides some answers to your questions. These are very good questions.
Blessings to you,
Stacey